I watched as they loaded Heather into the Ambulance. I watched her in horror. One of the attendants called out to me, "Get in the front" he said as I stood there in the blizzard. I hopped in the passenger side and closed the door.
The Paramedic who was in the drivers seat said "We're gonna make a run for the airport. They are clearing the runway as we speak". He put the Ambulance in "drive" and we slowly made our way onto Main St.
Of course my mind was racing. Millions of thoughts at once. Little mini nervous breakdown one after the other. Somehow I managed to find myself in the "eye" of one of these thought frenzies. I was calm or was I paralyzed? My mind went blank for a few seconds. I was able to think of calling Shaun.
I called Shaun on the runway at the Dauphin Airport. I told him what had happened. He was blown away. Shaun told me to keep it together and that he would take care of everything at my house. Shaun said that as soon as he had a day off he would be coming to see me in Winnipeg. The Paramedics were knocking on the Ambulance window, it was time for me to go.
I boarded the tiny aircraft. There was next to no room. Heather was on a stretcher along side the wing. I sat on a tiny chair in the back. On board was a Doctor from Winnipeg and her staff. The plane took off immediately. I looked out the window as we took off. It was black. I could see the stars and then I could see the full moon. I looked up at the altitude meter. It read 1453 feet. I thought to myself...Autumn was born on a full moon, Sammy was born on a full moon and a blue moon, Heather is dying and I see a full moon.
I looked over at Heather. No movement. I watched the displays of the machines she was hooked up to. I watched the numbers go up and down, weird digital graphs I didn't understand. I looked back at Heather. Did I just see her foot move? No...did I? I watched her foot intently for another minute but it didn't move. I looked back out the window into the black night. "What the hell happened to Heather", I though to myself. I wondered if this is it. Is this where Heather dies? "She can't die" "Little Autumn and little Samson"
We arrived on the runway of Winnipeg Airport at around 5:00 am. I exited the plane to a waiting Ambulance. The Paramedics loaded Heather from the plane to the Ambulance. The Ambulance departed the Airport without sirens or lights. As we drove on I began asking questions. "Buddy are you gonna light this thing up and drive or what?" the Paramedic turned and said "We can't drive too fast with a patient like this...we don't want to risk and bumps".
We snaked through the city bound for Health Sciences Center. I had no wallet, no bank card, no cash...basically the clothes on my back. I was for all intents and purposes...pretty much fucked. I thought about the kids. They were sleeping at home. They had no idea what has happened. They will wake up to Auntie and Grandma. Mommy and Daddy will be gone. The gravity of the situation was crushing.
The Ambulance pulled into a loading bay at HSC. There were nurses and Paramedics everywhere. I got out of the Ambulance and saw Medical staff unloading Heather with urgency. The staff got the stretcher out of the Ambulance and whisked Heather down a hallway. I followed close behind. At the end of the hallway a Nurse asked me to wait on the other side of the door, she motioned to a door the opposite way they were taking Heather. I said "No thanks, I'm going with Heather". The Nurse backed up and put her hand out. "No... you must wait on the other side of the door in the waiting room. We will be having Heather assessed. Someone will be out to talk to you shortly." I walked towards the door. I looked back but Heather and her entourage were gone. I opened the door and walked through. Once the door closed I decided that I wanted to go back and be with Heather. I tried the door but it was locked. I tried again. Locked. I began knocking on the door...then pounding! A voice from an intercom said "Please don't bang on the door we can see you on camera". I looked up to see the intercom, camera and sign. The sign read "SICU Press Button PACU Press Button" Defeated, I turned and walked over to the waiting room. I sat down and began to freak out. Heather. Fuck. I cant sit here. I got up and walked out of the room back to the SICU/PACU door. I began to pace. Whats happening to Heather? No smokes. Damn it!. No money. Whats happening to Heather? Fuck. I'm alone...
-more to follow-
PUTRESCENCE @ HEATHERFEST
Sunday, 13 November 2011
Thursday, 4 August 2011
Part 5
What occurred next was beautiful and absolutely astonishing.
I looked at the Doctor for a second and then at Alison. I looked into her eyes briefly and then was almost blinded by a flash of light that originated in front of Alison's stomach. The light became a dull grey mixed with white and formed a cylinder shape that lengthened itself past the Doctor and around the corner down the hall towards Heather, I didn't follow the... well....whatever it was, I sat there in shock at what I had seen just now and what the Doctor had said moments ago. This event is one of the things that replays in my mind to this day, something that keeps me awake at night.
"We have to get Heather outta here! I pressured. "We have to try and save her!". The Doctor told us that the Medical staff had been in contact with HSC in Winnipeg and a "Life Flight" would be arranged as soon as the weather let up. The Doctor turned and jogged down the hall.
Alison and I took a second to recoil in total horror before starting to cry. We both let the gravity of the situation kick us in the face a few times before we spoke..."We gotta get her to Winnipeg NOW!" I shouted. A nurse walked in, out of breath. "We are on standby to go to the Dauphin Airport" she said. "Only one person may board the plane. Alison and I talked it out and we decided that I would ride with Heather and she would return back to my place to round up Gail and the kids and meet me in Winnipeg the next day. A few moments later the same nurse approached told me that the Dauphin Medical Team was having problems "hooking Heather up" to the life support machines and that a Doctor from HSC was en route in an airplane from Winnipeg to take over the situation. This troubled me on many levels to say the least but that is an avenue I will explore later on in the blog.
For the next fifteen minutes Alison and I sat there, not much was said really. I felt extreme levels of despair, worry, heartache and helplessness...like a plague. My mind raced with dark thoughts of Heather dying, kids growing up without a Mom, the person I wanted to be with for the rest of my life, and I could feel Death in the air. It was near.
The nurse ran into the room and told me it was time to leave. Alison and I hugged and she left the Hospital in the raging blizzard after seeing us off in the Ambulance...
-more to follow-
I looked at the Doctor for a second and then at Alison. I looked into her eyes briefly and then was almost blinded by a flash of light that originated in front of Alison's stomach. The light became a dull grey mixed with white and formed a cylinder shape that lengthened itself past the Doctor and around the corner down the hall towards Heather, I didn't follow the... well....whatever it was, I sat there in shock at what I had seen just now and what the Doctor had said moments ago. This event is one of the things that replays in my mind to this day, something that keeps me awake at night.
"We have to get Heather outta here! I pressured. "We have to try and save her!". The Doctor told us that the Medical staff had been in contact with HSC in Winnipeg and a "Life Flight" would be arranged as soon as the weather let up. The Doctor turned and jogged down the hall.
Alison and I took a second to recoil in total horror before starting to cry. We both let the gravity of the situation kick us in the face a few times before we spoke..."We gotta get her to Winnipeg NOW!" I shouted. A nurse walked in, out of breath. "We are on standby to go to the Dauphin Airport" she said. "Only one person may board the plane. Alison and I talked it out and we decided that I would ride with Heather and she would return back to my place to round up Gail and the kids and meet me in Winnipeg the next day. A few moments later the same nurse approached told me that the Dauphin Medical Team was having problems "hooking Heather up" to the life support machines and that a Doctor from HSC was en route in an airplane from Winnipeg to take over the situation. This troubled me on many levels to say the least but that is an avenue I will explore later on in the blog.
For the next fifteen minutes Alison and I sat there, not much was said really. I felt extreme levels of despair, worry, heartache and helplessness...like a plague. My mind raced with dark thoughts of Heather dying, kids growing up without a Mom, the person I wanted to be with for the rest of my life, and I could feel Death in the air. It was near.
The nurse ran into the room and told me it was time to leave. Alison and I hugged and she left the Hospital in the raging blizzard after seeing us off in the Ambulance...
-more to follow-
Wednesday, 13 July 2011
Part 4
As I followed behind the Ambulance I began to freak out. Watching the red lights spin as the snow pelted the Ambulance put me in a trance.
The blizzard was raging and I was able to go about 45 km/h with the Ambulance in my sight. The whole incident crushed me like a sledgehammer. I was terrified. The seizure replayed in my head millions of times a second.
After the hellride, the Ambulance pulled into Emergency in Dauphin. The Paramedics unloaded Heather and whisked her into the Hospital with me right behind.
Emergency staff began to strip her down. I remember her Magrudergrinder T Shirt being cut off with a pair of scissors and thinking how fucking mad Heather will be when she wakes up that they destroyed the Magrudergrinder Shirt. Other Medical staff were busy looking for veins to tap and getting machines hooked up to her.
I began to talk to the staff. I began to tell them the whole story, about how I had taken her here weeks before, the swollen neck, the migraines. The Nurse cut me off in mid sentence and asked me to go to the Admissions area to check in..."What the fuck?" I said. "Are you fucking kidding me? Go to Admissions while Heather is dying?"
My mind was racing a million miles an hour. "You must pick your battles" I told myself. "Not here....not now."
I ran to Admitting and rattled of Heather's details and then ran straight back to the Emergency Room. I arrived and things seemed to have escalated even further. I studied the faces of the staff. The look of total horror on their faces was hard for them to hide. A Doctor, I think it was Dr. Penrose, came up to me and told me that Heather was being prepped for a CT Scan and that they would be wheeling her away momentarily. I looked over the Doctors shoulder and saw Heather unconscious, several Nurses scrambling with hoses and needles.
The Doctor took me down the hall to a room I hadn't seen before. I had a few Hospital stays there as did Heather and her Mom, christ I've worked many shifts with Corrections there, I knew my way around the place. I have never seen this room before. The door was totally invisible to me when closed.
The Doctor opened the door. Inside the room was a couch and a chair. I sat down and the Doctor said he would be back in a minute with the results of the scan.
I sat there completely beside myself. I was totally terrified. I knew that this was serious...life and death serious. Alison arrived not long after. I remember how momentarily comforting it was to see her there.
The Doctor came back and stood at the doorway, his face at this particular moment in time, the expression of it, the colour a pasty white. His eyes seemed to try and avoid mine.
Alison asked the Doctor "So...whats happened?" The Doctor just came out with it. " Heather has a massive bleed in her brain. She has a ruptured aneurysm of the worst kind...Grade 5." "How do you know for sure?" Alison asked. "Because we cant see her brain, on the CT its totally black."
-more to follow-
The blizzard was raging and I was able to go about 45 km/h with the Ambulance in my sight. The whole incident crushed me like a sledgehammer. I was terrified. The seizure replayed in my head millions of times a second.
After the hellride, the Ambulance pulled into Emergency in Dauphin. The Paramedics unloaded Heather and whisked her into the Hospital with me right behind.
Emergency staff began to strip her down. I remember her Magrudergrinder T Shirt being cut off with a pair of scissors and thinking how fucking mad Heather will be when she wakes up that they destroyed the Magrudergrinder Shirt. Other Medical staff were busy looking for veins to tap and getting machines hooked up to her.
I began to talk to the staff. I began to tell them the whole story, about how I had taken her here weeks before, the swollen neck, the migraines. The Nurse cut me off in mid sentence and asked me to go to the Admissions area to check in..."What the fuck?" I said. "Are you fucking kidding me? Go to Admissions while Heather is dying?"
My mind was racing a million miles an hour. "You must pick your battles" I told myself. "Not here....not now."
I ran to Admitting and rattled of Heather's details and then ran straight back to the Emergency Room. I arrived and things seemed to have escalated even further. I studied the faces of the staff. The look of total horror on their faces was hard for them to hide. A Doctor, I think it was Dr. Penrose, came up to me and told me that Heather was being prepped for a CT Scan and that they would be wheeling her away momentarily. I looked over the Doctors shoulder and saw Heather unconscious, several Nurses scrambling with hoses and needles.
The Doctor took me down the hall to a room I hadn't seen before. I had a few Hospital stays there as did Heather and her Mom, christ I've worked many shifts with Corrections there, I knew my way around the place. I have never seen this room before. The door was totally invisible to me when closed.
The Doctor opened the door. Inside the room was a couch and a chair. I sat down and the Doctor said he would be back in a minute with the results of the scan.
I sat there completely beside myself. I was totally terrified. I knew that this was serious...life and death serious. Alison arrived not long after. I remember how momentarily comforting it was to see her there.
The Doctor came back and stood at the doorway, his face at this particular moment in time, the expression of it, the colour a pasty white. His eyes seemed to try and avoid mine.
Alison asked the Doctor "So...whats happened?" The Doctor just came out with it. " Heather has a massive bleed in her brain. She has a ruptured aneurysm of the worst kind...Grade 5." "How do you know for sure?" Alison asked. "Because we cant see her brain, on the CT its totally black."
-more to follow-
Tuesday, 14 June 2011
Part 3
I grabbed the phone and called Heather's Mom and told her to get over as fast as she could. I called 911 next and reported what had happened to the operator. The Operator told me to remain on the phone until the Ambulance arrived.
A few moments later Heather's Mom came inside and she helped me clear a path to get Heather onto the couch in the living room. I picked Heather up and carried her to the couch. When I set her down she awakened slightly and vomited all over the floor. After her final heave of vomit she lost consciousness again.
Heather's dog Atilla had witnessed the ordeal from the get go and was terrified. The dog frantically ran into my jam space room and hid in the darkness.
As I waited for the ambulance I held Heather and told her that somehow this will be alright. Gail was distraught and beginning to fall apart at the seams.
Gail and I finished moving the furniture out of the way to accommodate the stretcher. I set my body to "auto pilot" and let it handle the menial physical tasks and tried to harness and focus the energy to contact Heathers subconscious.
I was able to barely clear my mind to channel my subconscious body but no matter how hard I concentrated I couldn't find Heather, I could feel her there but I couldn't make the imprint with her.
I was able to see her face but just barely. I could see that her face was desperate and that she was trapped behind a pane of foggy glass. Heather was saying something but I couldn't hear hear, I tried to read her lips but the glass was too foggy. Within a few moments my energy had depleted and the weak connection had been lost.
When the Ambulance arrived they took Heather's blood pressure. It was 300/190! An impossible number, Heather must have overloaded the machine. I remember the look the paramedics gave each other as they stared at the monitor. Heather erupted into a massive seizure. Her eyes flickered and her limbs flailed as she foamed at the mouth. Gail recoiled in horror as the event unfolded. The seizure lasted about 10 or 15 seconds. Something I will never forget.
The Paramedics tried to get a spinal board underneath Heather but unfortunately my couch was about 4 inches too short. It was decided that I would lift Heather up while the Paramedics place the board underneath of Heather and then strap her in for transport.
The maneuver went off without a hitch and I helped the Paramedics out of the house and place Heather safely into the Ambulance. It was a blizzard! Winds gusting and the temp sitting at -38 C. I watched as they loaded Heather into the Ambulance in a pair of sweatpants and a Magrudergrinder T Shirt. Her hair blew wildly in the wind and snow as she lay lifeless on the stretcher.
I hopped into my vehicle and pulled in behind the Ambulance that had already started off through town. I called Heather's sister Alison, it was a short conversation " Heather's dying...On my way! Click.
-More To Follow-
A few moments later Heather's Mom came inside and she helped me clear a path to get Heather onto the couch in the living room. I picked Heather up and carried her to the couch. When I set her down she awakened slightly and vomited all over the floor. After her final heave of vomit she lost consciousness again.
Heather's dog Atilla had witnessed the ordeal from the get go and was terrified. The dog frantically ran into my jam space room and hid in the darkness.
As I waited for the ambulance I held Heather and told her that somehow this will be alright. Gail was distraught and beginning to fall apart at the seams.
Gail and I finished moving the furniture out of the way to accommodate the stretcher. I set my body to "auto pilot" and let it handle the menial physical tasks and tried to harness and focus the energy to contact Heathers subconscious.
I was able to barely clear my mind to channel my subconscious body but no matter how hard I concentrated I couldn't find Heather, I could feel her there but I couldn't make the imprint with her.
I was able to see her face but just barely. I could see that her face was desperate and that she was trapped behind a pane of foggy glass. Heather was saying something but I couldn't hear hear, I tried to read her lips but the glass was too foggy. Within a few moments my energy had depleted and the weak connection had been lost.
When the Ambulance arrived they took Heather's blood pressure. It was 300/190! An impossible number, Heather must have overloaded the machine. I remember the look the paramedics gave each other as they stared at the monitor. Heather erupted into a massive seizure. Her eyes flickered and her limbs flailed as she foamed at the mouth. Gail recoiled in horror as the event unfolded. The seizure lasted about 10 or 15 seconds. Something I will never forget.
The Paramedics tried to get a spinal board underneath Heather but unfortunately my couch was about 4 inches too short. It was decided that I would lift Heather up while the Paramedics place the board underneath of Heather and then strap her in for transport.
The maneuver went off without a hitch and I helped the Paramedics out of the house and place Heather safely into the Ambulance. It was a blizzard! Winds gusting and the temp sitting at -38 C. I watched as they loaded Heather into the Ambulance in a pair of sweatpants and a Magrudergrinder T Shirt. Her hair blew wildly in the wind and snow as she lay lifeless on the stretcher.
I hopped into my vehicle and pulled in behind the Ambulance that had already started off through town. I called Heather's sister Alison, it was a short conversation " Heather's dying...On my way! Click.
-More To Follow-
Monday, 6 June 2011
Part 2
I followed Heather into the bathroom. She knelt at the toilet with desperation. Heather vomited harshly a few times and then told me to get out of the bathroom and close the door.
I left the bathroom and closed the door. I began to walk away and heard a loud crash, like everything had fallen down and smashed on the floor of the bathroom.
I opened the bathroom door and saw Heather unconscious on her back covered in vomit. Her head had somehow wedged in between the sink and the towel cabinet and she was laying at a bit of and angle. My first thought was that Heather had finished vomiting and tried to get to her feet by pushing off of the toilet seat and somehow slipped and fell back and hit her head on the sink.
Without moving her, I checked her over for any signs of head trauma. I checked her mouth and ears and nose for any signs of blood. While I was doing this, Heather began to snore heavily as if she was in a deep sleep. This worried me. There were no obvious signs of injury to her head that I could detect. I called out to her by name "Heather!" she did not move. I yelled this time "Heather!!" again no movement. Panic began to set in hard. She definitely didn't hit her head on the sink.
I slowly and carefully moved Heather inch by inch so that her head was free and in line with her body. I called out her name again "Heather!!" nothing. I slapped Heather across the cheek and screamed her name HEATHER!!! Her eyes slowly opened. She looked glazed over and sluggish. I told her that she had hit her head really bad. I asked her to tell me my name. Heather said "Glenn". I was shocked. I said "no baby...focus on me...whats my name?" Heather's face turned to desperation and she cried "Sammy and Auto!" and then fell back unconscious...
-more to follow-
I left the bathroom and closed the door. I began to walk away and heard a loud crash, like everything had fallen down and smashed on the floor of the bathroom.
I opened the bathroom door and saw Heather unconscious on her back covered in vomit. Her head had somehow wedged in between the sink and the towel cabinet and she was laying at a bit of and angle. My first thought was that Heather had finished vomiting and tried to get to her feet by pushing off of the toilet seat and somehow slipped and fell back and hit her head on the sink.
Without moving her, I checked her over for any signs of head trauma. I checked her mouth and ears and nose for any signs of blood. While I was doing this, Heather began to snore heavily as if she was in a deep sleep. This worried me. There were no obvious signs of injury to her head that I could detect. I called out to her by name "Heather!" she did not move. I yelled this time "Heather!!" again no movement. Panic began to set in hard. She definitely didn't hit her head on the sink.
I slowly and carefully moved Heather inch by inch so that her head was free and in line with her body. I called out her name again "Heather!!" nothing. I slapped Heather across the cheek and screamed her name HEATHER!!! Her eyes slowly opened. She looked glazed over and sluggish. I told her that she had hit her head really bad. I asked her to tell me my name. Heather said "Glenn". I was shocked. I said "no baby...focus on me...whats my name?" Heather's face turned to desperation and she cried "Sammy and Auto!" and then fell back unconscious...
-more to follow-
Tuesday, 31 May 2011
Part 1
I got off work at 7:00 pm. It was a long 12 hour shift. I had heard off and on during my shift of an impending blizzard that had plans to shut down Dauphin.
I called Heather and let her know that the roads were terrible and that I would be delayed on my commute because of the road conditions.
After a treacherous ride home on top of a shitty day I was glad to get home to Heather and the kids.
I sat down to a plate of Macaroni and Hamburger and a cold beer. I joked around with the kids a bit while I ate. I asked Heather if her headaches were still there, as she had been having horrible migraines for the last couple of weeks, she said that her headache was still there but not as bad as previous incidents.
After a late supper and a all around shitty week with Corrections, Heather and I put the kids to bed and planned to watch a movie together since I had come off of a 70 hour work week and hadn't seen Heather in a while. I remember looking out the window and watching the blizzard pounding the countryside. I thought " thank Christ I made it home!" I laughed to myself about the poor bastards that had to brave the roads to make it to work. I laughed even harder that I was coming up on some time off and didn't have to go back to that shithole of a jail for a while, I could be with my family having fun, playing games, watching movies etc.
Heather and I cuddled in our bed and watched some crappy flick on the dish. It was about 8:45 pm and I noticed myself falling in and out of sleep.
At about 10:00 pm Heather shot up out of bed. I heard her crying and looked up to see her holding her head and screaming. Heather ran downstairs crying as I followed close behind.
Heather grabbed a bag of frozen peas from the freezer as well as an ice pack. She put the frozen peas on her head and the ice pack on the back of her neck.
Heather told me to shut off the lights and turn the TV off. I asked her if the pain was subsiding and she told me not to speak or make any noise. Heather became nauseous and then ran to the bathroom...
-more to follow-
I called Heather and let her know that the roads were terrible and that I would be delayed on my commute because of the road conditions.
After a treacherous ride home on top of a shitty day I was glad to get home to Heather and the kids.
I sat down to a plate of Macaroni and Hamburger and a cold beer. I joked around with the kids a bit while I ate. I asked Heather if her headaches were still there, as she had been having horrible migraines for the last couple of weeks, she said that her headache was still there but not as bad as previous incidents.
After a late supper and a all around shitty week with Corrections, Heather and I put the kids to bed and planned to watch a movie together since I had come off of a 70 hour work week and hadn't seen Heather in a while. I remember looking out the window and watching the blizzard pounding the countryside. I thought " thank Christ I made it home!" I laughed to myself about the poor bastards that had to brave the roads to make it to work. I laughed even harder that I was coming up on some time off and didn't have to go back to that shithole of a jail for a while, I could be with my family having fun, playing games, watching movies etc.
Heather and I cuddled in our bed and watched some crappy flick on the dish. It was about 8:45 pm and I noticed myself falling in and out of sleep.
At about 10:00 pm Heather shot up out of bed. I heard her crying and looked up to see her holding her head and screaming. Heather ran downstairs crying as I followed close behind.
Heather grabbed a bag of frozen peas from the freezer as well as an ice pack. She put the frozen peas on her head and the ice pack on the back of her neck.
Heather told me to shut off the lights and turn the TV off. I asked her if the pain was subsiding and she told me not to speak or make any noise. Heather became nauseous and then ran to the bathroom...
-more to follow-
Introduction:
My name is Mike. I am 36 years old and have two awesome children named Autumn (3) and Samson (1). I am engaged to a wonderful person named Heather. I work as a Correctional Officer in the shitty town of Dauphin. I am the drummer for a stoner band called Heavy Metal Stoner Camaro.
Heather is a renown Graphic Designer and has worked with bands all over the world providing artwork as well as layout and design for CD's and shirts etc. Heather has very close ties with the Winnipeg Metal Scene and is considered the "go to" girl when a band needs a logo or atrwork. Besides being a talented artist, Heather is a dedicated Mom and an awesome person in general.
On February 17th, 2011 our lives changed forever...
At 10:00pm on February 17th, Heather was struck down by two Grade 5 Brain Aneurysm's...this is the story of her struggle to survive, and how a Metal Scene rallied around one of it's own. This is a story of the triumph of human will, the power of positive energy and the courage of a young woman.
-more to follow-
Heather is a renown Graphic Designer and has worked with bands all over the world providing artwork as well as layout and design for CD's and shirts etc. Heather has very close ties with the Winnipeg Metal Scene and is considered the "go to" girl when a band needs a logo or atrwork. Besides being a talented artist, Heather is a dedicated Mom and an awesome person in general.
On February 17th, 2011 our lives changed forever...
At 10:00pm on February 17th, Heather was struck down by two Grade 5 Brain Aneurysm's...this is the story of her struggle to survive, and how a Metal Scene rallied around one of it's own. This is a story of the triumph of human will, the power of positive energy and the courage of a young woman.
-more to follow-
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